Liquid Courage Read online

  Once she’s safely in her seat, I buckle her up and in her first act of trust she whispers, “Tenist oos to urt.”

  “When you were little? The dentist used to hurt?”

  Nodding vigorously, she says slowly, “Fe forfot tu asf fo meficine.”

  “They didn’t use lidocaine?”

  Closing her eyes, she shakes her head no.

  “I’m proud of you,” I say wiping the spit from her mouth. “Coming here takes guts.” Though it could be said I wasn’t thinking too highly of her parents right now.

  Pointing at the building she giggles, “Ood meficine.”

  “Yeah, I bet the medicine was good,” I smirk. “I’m sure the pills you took helped too.”

  “Ah yup,” she agrees.

  “Let’s get you home,” I say buckling her in. “But first, let’s wipe your mouth.”

  Mercy was sound asleep in my lap before I pulled out of the lot.

  She was blotto, which meant her defenses were down. Now I was working against the clock. And let it be known, I was good with deadlines.

  I was struggling to open my eyes when I felt a hand on my boob.

  Focusing on the man half on top of me, I wondered if he knew how young he looked when he was at rest.

  A lot of people look ridiculous when they sleep and I was one of them. Because when I crashed, I crashed hard.

  Mouth open, limbs everywhere, covers on the floor, pillows flung.

  Not Dion.

  He was just beautiful.

  Feeling safe and warm but also still out of it, I closed my eyes and drifted off.

  Rolling over, I hit a wall by the name of Dion Fox.

  Stroking my cheek, he takes his time memorizing my face and I do the same.

  It was moments like this that I dared to dream of a future with him in it.

  To have this every morning for the rest of my life…

  God, if only I wasn’t so fucked up.

  While we both remained silent, giving the other soft touches, I let my head and heart wander down the path of what ifs and happy endings. Because I had a score to settle before I could have mine. But at the rate I was going, it would take years to accomplish and I didn’t see him waiting for me. And it wasn’t fair that he ever got anything less than all of me.

  So, when he brushes my hair away from my eyes, I whisper, “You’re beautiful.”

  “Why do you deny me, Mercy? Why do you deny us? You’re denying what we could have together. At least, tell me why.”

  “I can solve any mystery except…”

  “Except?”

  “Why I’m forgettable.”

  “Mercy…”

  “That’s why.”

  “It’s not about the den and what happens there?”

  “As long as the world turns, a man can find a willing woman if he wants one. Especially a man that rocks a suit like you do. Owning a business that caters to it only benefits the men who want it. If you weren’t desensitized to it, you wouldn’t bother chasing me. Not when it’s in your face. I know for you, it’s business, Dion. It’s not about that, never was or will be.”

  “Have you considered that I want to chase you? That I want the chance to earn you, know you? I don’t want a woman because she’s available, Mercy. I waited all these years for the woman who makes me better. Tell me you know that.”

  “It’s not possible,” I whisper in despair.

  “What isn’t possible?”

  “You’re already perfect, so you can’t get better than you already are.”

  Rolling me to my back, he gets in my face and says, “You keep trying to push me away but you need to know, you suck at it.”

  “Wait –”

  “You’re good, I’ll give you that, but I see your face go soft when you look me. I feel your need when you touch me. I hear your heart in every single word when you speak to me. I’m up for the chase and that scares you because you want to get caught. You want to submit. But trust me when I tell you, I’ve got your scent inside of me now and no matter how far you run, I’ll find you.”

  “Oh my God, you’re poetically insane!”

  “And you,” he says pinning me down. “Just waved the red flag calling the bull out of the pen.”

  “Dion…”

  “Making you mine,” he warns. “In all ways, Mercy.”

  Remember when I said everyone has something to hide? Well, that includes me too.

  And if the two of us stand even the smallest chance of making this work, he needs to know, “I’m married.”

  I watch his jaw tick, eyes blink twice and his grip tightens when he grates out, “Happily?”

  “No,” I snort at the thought.

  “You live alone, you wear no man’s ring. Why aren’t you divorced?”

  “I’ve been trying, believe me, but he’s cagey. You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that…”

  “I take it, he’s opposed.”

  “Little bit,” I whisper. “Yeah.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “No.”

  “Does he love you?”

  “That’s irrelevant.”

  “I can’t fully make you mine if you’re married, Mercy.”

  “I know,” I try and look away but he wasn’t having it.

  “Do you want to be mine?”

  Staring into his eyes I confess, “More than anything, but –”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Nick. Well, Nicholas legally.”

  “Does he have a last name?”

  “Kennedy. He’s into some dirty shit which is why I can’t find him. He’s managed to stay of my radar because the prick knows all my tricks.”

  When he moved to a sitting position and let out a hard sigh, I sat up and asked, “What was that for?”

  “I know where he is.”

  “Seriously?” I squeak. “How? I’ve been searching for over two years!”

  “He’s a member of the den.”

  I gave myself a second to chew on that before asking, “For how long?”

  “He joined the year I took over.”

  “So how long ago was that?”

  “Five years.”

  “I see.”

  That fucker stole from me, lied to me and cheated on me to boot. Boy, this just keeps getting better and better.

  “Get your papers together,” he says pulling me toward him. “I’ll set up a meeting.”

  “You will?”

  “I do this, you’ll be mine, right? Just mine?”

  “Yes,” I rush out. “Just yours.”

  As soon as I drop two hundred and thirty pounds of dead weight…

  “Then I’ll set up the meeting.”

  Cupping his face in my hands, I get up on my knees kissing him soundly on the mouth. “Thank you.”

  “We’re not all like him,” he says gently.

  “I don’t care about anyone else,” I promise him. “Just you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but it’s embarrassing and until I fixed it…”

  “I did it,” he says tackling me to the bed, reigning kisses all over my skin.

  “Did what?”

  “Found the reason you were holding back from me and fucking destroyed it.” Shit, he kinda did do that.

  “Let me guess, you’re going to be smug about it?”

  His cocky grin said it all.

  And in the interest of being honest, I owed Dion the whole story.

  Since Roger runs the show, he knows all the ins and outs of our members. He was like a cheerleader in high school when it came to gossip. He made it his business to be. When asking him about Nick Kennedy he rolled his eyes and said, “He’s a bitch.”

  To which I said, “He’s married to Mercy.”

  “Come again?”

  “She’s been looking to divorce him for over two years but he keeps dodging her.”

  “Mercy married that tool? On purpose?”

  “She claims she was drunk and incapable of rational thought. She also sai
d when her buzz wore off, so did the honeymoon phase.”

  “Does she know he cheated?”

  “As of yesterday, yes.”

  “Oh,” he mumbles. “That had to sting.”

  “She holds no love for him, she just wants him to sign the papers.”

  “That’s why he’s prancing around here telling everyone he’s got a private meeting with you. You’re going to call him out in front of the other members.”

  “Actually,” I say looking at my watch. “Mercy is.”

  “And I get a front row seat,” he grins. “You really are my best friend.”

  “I need you there to make sure I don’t kill him.”

  “Besides cheat, what else did he do?”

  “A lot of shit,” I ground out. “But I stopped listening after stole money from me.”

  “So, he’s a cheater and a thief,” Roger nods. “Just so you know, if you don’t kill him, I will.”

  Yes, some of our members were married and open about their tastes. But most of the men who had wives came to the club for one purpose. To belong to a brotherhood. However, how our members chose to conduct themselves behind closed doors was none of my business. Unless, that business was Mercy Mohr.

  I saw the sadness in her eyes when she did the math. She knew her husband had been cheating.

  Cheating, stealing and lying… This asshole had Mercy and purposely hurt her.

  No way was I letting that stand.

  I requested Nick meet me in the cigar lounge for a drink. Because this was not something I made a habit of, he felt honored to be extended an invitation. Now, I could have ordered the room be cleared out for privacy reasons but I wanted his peers to see him for the asshole he was. With Mercy due here any minute, I made my way downstairs leaving security with instructions to bring her to me.

  I wasn’t in the prick’s line of sight a full thirty seconds before he started running his mouth.

  This was one of the reasons I stayed away. I couldn’t stand douchebags. The other reason being I didn’t care to see a woman offering herself for money. While it was her choice and she was treated with respect inside these walls, it never sat with me. But I understood it was the sole reason we made as much money as we did. Our employees didn’t strip or dance for cash, they provided upscale services safely and discreetly. Over the years, I’ve learned to look past it and spent my time working from the shadows.

  Handing me a drink and sporting a cunning smile, Roger settled in for the show.

  The man loved a good spectacle.

  Pressing his finger to his ear piece, he nods letting me know she’s arrived. Say what you will about my partner, but he was one hell of a business man. He was a thousand times more committed to this den than I was or ever will be. I liked the money. Roger liked the politics of it.

  A moment later, Mercy entered the lounge and every set of eyes turned to her, including my own.

  Wearing her hair on top of her head, distressed jeans and a tank top that said shut your mouth or I’m gonna fuck it, Mercy stole my breath.

  “Hi boys,” she pinky waves to the group. Because women off the street aren’t allowed inside, the men were naturally curious about the bombshell headed straight for me. While Mercy has been a regular lately, she’s never come to the lounge. Since I don’t engage our members much and when I did wasn’t exactly friendly, to say they were interested in what was happening was an understatement. So, a woman smiling in my direction confused the fuck out of everyone here. As for me, I had never been more proud.

  She was closing in when Nick stepped in front of me. Taking a step toward her, he says anxiously, “Mercy?”

  “Hi Nick,” she says with bite. “It’s been a minute. Miss me?”

  “What are you doing here? Who let you in?”

  “He did,” she points at me. “Wow, Nick, you don’t look very happy to see your wife.”

  “Remove her,” he orders me at which I just raised an eyebrow.

  “You might want to try that again,” I advise him.

  “She’s crazy,” he insists. “I’m serious, call the police.”

  “Didn’t she used to be the police?” Roger asks.

  “Yes,” I nod. “She even made Detective.”

  “Impressive,” Roger smiles.

  “You want to throw me out?” she pouts. “And after I came all this way to see you.”

  “You know what?” he says licking his lips. “I’ll toss her myself.” He may have said it but he sure as shit didn’t look eager to do it. Taking him by the neck, I remind him, “When you’re inside my walls, you will show respect to every woman here.”

  “She doesn’t count! Why would you let her in here!”

  Getting in his face, I tell him, “Because she’s mine,” and watch him pale. “And she has some papers for you to sign.” Ready to end this, I call for her and when she takes my side asks me to, “Let him go, please.”

  Reluctantly, I did and that’s when it got interesting.

  “Easy now,” he says to Mercy even going so far as to put his hands up in surrender. “You don’t want to hurt me.”

  “Why are you acting like an abused spouse right now, Nick? Do you think anyone in this room buys that I beat you?”

  A chorus of laughs and insults flew Nick’s way as Mercy pointed and said, “You are going to sign these papers, Nick. It’s either going to happen with you standing upright with what little dignity you have left or,” she says stepping closer. “From the floor where you’ll be writhing in pain caused by the fist I’m going to bury in your stomach.”

  “Wait,” he says quickly. “I’ll sign, alright? Hand me the papers.”

  Extending her hand, he snags the papers and actually takes off running.

  Roger looks at me, I look at her and she says, “I blame his mother.” But, I saw the embarrassment in her eyes. Nick would pay for putting it there.

  So, when she tossed me her bag and said, “Time me,” I did.

  Chasing my husband through my boyfriend’s establishment was hilarious and embarrassing.

  It’s hard enough when a marriage doesn’t work out but there was no explaining this to anyone.

  Tackling Nick around the waist and taking him to the ground, I pinned him and had my hand around his throat.

  “Mercy,” he chokes out.

  “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be married to a pussy?”

  “Please.”

  “Have you met, Dion? I’m never living this down, Nick. Never!”

  “Just –”

  “Because of your dumb ass, he’s going to razz me about this until the end of time! This is your fault!”

  “I can’t breathe,” he whimpers.

  “See what I mean?” I yell. “I’m not even choking you and you’re pretending I’m choking you! Sign the papers, Nick.”

  “Mercy –”

  Slapping him across the face I say again, “Sign the papers, Nick.”

  “But I love –”

  Crawling off him but bringing him with me, I slam Nick into the wall and warn him, “You have three seconds.”

  “What happens in three seconds?” Roger asks Dion.

  “If you’d shut up, we’ll find out,” he responds crossing his arms over his chest. Dion was wearing a light blue suit today and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about it.

  “Mercy fuck…” Nick groans below me.

  “Here it comes,” Dion coughs out.

  “Should I be filming?” Roger asks Dion.

  As for me, I scream in his face, “What did I tell you about that!”

  “Sorry!” he wails. “Don’t do this!”

  “Three.”

  “Baby, no.”

  “Two.”

  “You’re my wife!”

  “One.”

  Screwing up his face, he curls into himself expecting me to hit him. Until now, I’ve never laid a hand on him and the whole act was exhausting. Opening one eye he says, “You didn’t do it.”

  “Nick, I’
ve never put my hands on you during our marriage and you know it so, knock it off. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

  “You really look like you want to though…”

  “Here’s what I want,” I explain. “To never see you again. To forget you exist. To move forward and put the biggest mistake I have ever made behind me. That’s what I want. Can you do that for me, Nick? Just one fucking time, can you do something for me?”

  “Fine,” he pouts as he unwrinkles the papers in his hand. Quickly and with jerky motions he scribbles on each page before shoving them at me. Looking them over, I was on the last page when Nick asks, “Happy now?”

  Folding them up and sliding it into my back pocket, I look at him and shrug, “Nope.”

  Rearing back and letting it fly, I caught him under the chin and with joy, I watched his knees buckle.

  Kissing my palm and slapping it across his cheek, I nod and say, “Now I’m happy.”

  Stepping over him to get to Dion, I felt lighter and free. I could finally move forward now that my past was behind me. (Crying on the carpet)

  Once I was in his arms, he reaches into his pocket, takes out a wad of cash and tosses at Nick.

  “Consider your membership revoked.”

  Squeezing him tight in thanks, Dion whispers, “I’ll give you seventy-two hours before I start in.”

  “Why seventy-two?”

  “Because I’ll be too busy fucking you to make jokes.”

  Dion was a man of his word.

  I was bent at the waist gasping for oxygen and strongly considering giving her an ultimatum when she started shaking her head at me. The little spit fire wasn’t even winded. In fact, just to prove it, she started stretching.

  I’m ashamed to admit that I fell behind by the third block. She was bouncing from foot to foot and shouting, “Hustle, Dion!” only I was done. With burning lungs, I actually had to say to her, “You go, leave me.” And then I had to watch my woman finish chasing our lead on foot while I used the building to hold me up. One thing I will say about Mercy is, she doesn’t gloat (much).

  Anything she says she can do, she can do. I basically told her anyone could be a PI with the right resources.

  I hadn’t taken into account actual physical activity.